Anticipation

You trekked past the greenery
and pursued the darkness
hiding behind the trees.

I could not dare follow you
for I was too afraid.
I knew that I adore you.

But of how much?
I do not know.
Did I really love you?

What was my perception?
My thought about love?
Do I really know how to?

All these came out,
as I stood by
waiting for you to come back.

-dyan kay ben-
06/26/09

My Ephemeral Angel

I stumbled
and you laughed at my clumsiness.
The bruises were all worth it.
When I looked up,
you lent me your hand
saying, "It's alright
Everyone has a right to stumble."

You were there
smiling in my arms through the years.
And I was never alone.
I never knew
what it was to be
alone. Without you,
I could not give a picture. Because

You were always there for me.

-dyan kay ben-
06/26/09

Paghuna

Buminuhat siya sa kinatutukawan niya
sa sirong kan kahoy sa Ateneo.
Maduros kaya tinatalbo an saiyang buhok
na nakalugay na abot sa abaga.

Kasubago pa ako naktunganga sa iya
asin nagngalas ako ta buminuhat siya
sa kinatutukawan niya.
Luway-luway siyang duminulok sa sakuya.

Sa harayo pa lang, maririsa mo na siya
huli sa kaputian niya asin aura.
Malinig paghilingon, bako maarte.
Mala ta aro-aldaw ko tinatangro.

Hinalat ko na magrani siya sakuya
asin siya luway-luway na duminulok.
Kan nasa atubangan ko na siya
sabi niya, "Mawalat man po nin bag."

-dyan kay ben-
06/24/09

Bente Uno

Padikit-dikit na nagdiklom an kalangitan
kan an dati nang harayong saldang
napuho sa kalangitan asin dagos na nawara.

Matanga na asin tuninong sa kapalibotan
pero an karampal sa daghan garo daguldol
na dae ako pinapaturog.

Kada minuto garo taon kun umagi
na sa pagal ko kahahalat
ako napapirong asin nakaturog.

Maribok pa sa hukragong an laog kan isip.
Turog ngani ako pero an kalag ko
pukaw sa kapungawan sa katuninongan.

Nagimata ako sa batok nin ayam,
sa kayas asin tilaok nin manok.
Nag-agi na man an para tinapay.

Pag muklat ko kan sakuyang malsok,
maliwanag pero dae nakakasilaw.
Arog kaini an buhay aro-aldaw.

-dyan kay ben-
06/22/09

Huring-huding

Kan suudma, nahiling ko si tiya
nakikiistoryahan duman sa kakanan.
Garo baga siya para-bareta sa radyo
na daeng untok sa kaiistorya.

Kasubago, sabi kan tugang niya
nawawara daa siya, dae aram an dinumanan.
Aban-aban, may nag-bareta sa kanto,
sa salog, naglataw-lataw si tiya.

-dyan kay ben-
06/22/09

Countryside

She bade farewell
at the strike of dawn.
The sun greeted me with a smile
but I could not respond.

In an open window,
at a country house in the fields-
I gazed at the vastness of things;
so abundant yet very empty.

Your absence alone is troublesome-
everything else can not compensate.

On foot, the track you've made
gets lost in the middle of the road.
To follow you when the path is unknown,
or to sit down and wait when time is anonymous?

On your solemn walk to bondage,
at the end of it,
someone else waits for you.
While you've turned your back against me.

But, who knows? If I stare at the moon
I hope you're staring at it too.

-dyan kay ben-
06/15/09

Bedside

I woke up today
and left my bed
where her memories sharpened
the creases of my sheets.

Yesterday, on the same time,
I woke up and she was beside me,
comfortably tucked in bed -
sleeping soundly.

I opened my eyes,
the real world lay before me.
She was never here.
It was a dream. It didn't happen to me.

-dyan kay ben-
06/16/09

Amy Says - Flyleaf

Amy says she's all alone
Says the world doesn't even know
About the pain she hides inside
Says happiness is just a lie
Smell the roses throw them down
Just whisper, don't make a sound
Don't want the world to know the truth
You've been broken and abused...by you

And Amy says
I see you laughing at the rain that hits your face
With your arms stretched open soaking in the love
In a world I found so hard you finds so beautiful
There's a hope in you deep inside for me

The colors of her mind
Bleed into each other
And as the morning melts the night
And the stars enchant another
While her eyes are still held shut
She can hear you breathing softly
Your words echo in her mind
And your words are clear
And she knows that you are here
You are here

I see her laughing at the rain that hits her face
With her arms stretched open soaking in the love
In a world she found so hard she finds so beautiful
There's a hope in her deep inside for you

I see her laughing at the rain that hits her face
With her arms stretched open soaking in the love
In a world she found so hard she finds so beautiful
There's a hope in her deep inside for you

Euphoria

Paurong

Uya ako ngunyan,
pinipirit an sadiri ko.
Sabi ko, kaya ko.
Sabi ko, rahay na ako.

Sa tahaw nin kadikluman
litrato mo sana an nahihiling ko.
Maski pa ako nagrarayo na,
dae makasalingoy, saimo an hiling.

-dyan kay ben-
06/10/09

Teddy Picker by The Arctic Monkeys

Despair to the point till they provoke
The punchline before they have told the joke
The sheer desperation to be scene/seen
Staring at the television screen

Despair to the point where they provoke
You to tell the fucking punchline before you have told the joke
Sorry sunshine it doesn't exist
It wasn't in the top 100 list

And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
He told ya, that you were gagging for it

She saw it and she grabbed it and it wasn't what it seemed
The kids all dream of making it, whatever that means
Another variation on a theme
A tangle on the television and the magazine
D'you reckon that they do it for a joke?
D'you reckon that they make 'em take an oath?
That says "we are defenders
Of any poseur or professional pretender around"

When did your list replace the twist and turn?
Ah the fist, replaced the kissed-on concern
And if you're bothered, I don't want your prayers
Save it for the morning after

And it's the thousandth time and it's even bolder,
Don't be surprised when you get bent over,
He told ya, that you were gagging for it

Lets have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker
Lets have a game on the Teddy Picker
Not quick enough can I have it quicker?
Already thick and you're getting thicker

Asuming that all things are equal,
Who'd want to be men of the people
When there's people like you?

Eclampsia

I rushed her to the local hospital.
She complained of cramps.
She was undergoing labor,
after nine months passed a breeze.

During her eighth month of pregnancy,
We've bought baby stuff in anticipation.
And we often had petty arguments
about if the baby was a girl or boy.

And then it would end up a scene
that I will gently caress her belly
and feel the child's confirmation.
It replies with a kick to say, "I'm alive."

We were financially unfortunate.
I never had any stable work.
And because of pride,
I insisted that my wife stays at home.

I left her along the corridor,
while she waited for her turn.
Now and then, she'd scream in anguish
as if the head started to pop out.

I went back home to gather my family
to tell them the good news.
"My wife's giving birth!", I yelled
and they joyfully gathered round.

We horded to the hospital.
I went back to the corridor, she wasn't there anymore.
I asked the attending nurse and she said,
"Yes, in the morgue. We did everything but..."

I went back to our slum,
And slammed the door behind me and went to bed.
Before I knew it, there I saw,
the baby's clothes my wife had neatly folded.

-jkdeqz- 02/19/09

Balikbayan Box

My mom started working overseas
way back when I was a child.
Every time she came home,
She gives us presents imported form abroad.

She works in Bosnia,
a domestic helper there.
For more than a decade's passed,
She came home nd left weeks after.

Last time she came home,
I asked her a question.
"Ma, if I do good in school, give me a reward huh?"
She nodded and smiled.

She promised to us before leaving,
that if I get high grades,
She'll go home with more goodies
right inside a bigger box.

Months later, she called and asked,
"How's my son doing?"
"I am an honor student ma!",
I gleefully exclaimed.

She promised me a lot of clothes,
New pair of shoes and a computer.
Weeks later, war broke out in Bosnia.
Gunshots and bombing everywhere.

No news ever reached us.
When her expected date of arrival came,
all we saw was this big box and smaller boxes.
It contained my mom, and her gifts.

-jkdeqz- 02/19/09

Ode to Wind Chimes

The wind always blew gently alongside you when you arrived
making the wind chimes ring sweetly
as they hung by the doorway,
and that I hugged you tight, longing.

Up until the day that you left
without saying a word. You turned back from me
early in the morning - the sun rose,
and you vanished like a phantom.

The wind has since played tricks on me,
as every time I sit or lie in bed,
the breeze would blow to ring the chime's shells
and they laughed in delight, rings sweetly.

Impulsively, I stood up, faced the mirror,
fixed my hair or checked
if anything looked bothersome,
marched out, prepared a smile.

And I held out my hands to embrace you
only to feel the gentle touch of the wind
and hear it whisper, "It is I, my child."
You have not arrived.

For all the mails I have sent,
I ask you in return.
Have you ever read them at all?
When will the postman retire?

by: Jan Kevin de Quiroz

Penitensya

Habang nasa irarom kan nangingisog na saldang,
nakataklob nin itom para lang dae mamidbidan,
hiling ta pati ang aki nakataklob kan mata,
takot sa nahihiling.
Nagtitipsik an dugo asin pinandudugdog sa napapaha
na konkreto na nagaaraso sa init.
Malangsa an parong kan dugo na nawiwisik sa katauhan.
Sa kanto nin saudan sa banwaan nin Pili,
duman sinda minapundo asin binabadag an panrapado
sa likod ninda. Maraga an likod, gatok sa kumpas
nin kawayan na pamitpit.
Maluhay an paglakaw, saru-saro. Balad sa kainitan.
Pag lampas sa puwesto mi sa saudan, balik sa dati.
Yaon ang chirismisan na idtong penitente daa aki ni Tiya
asin baralikan man ang mga paratawad na mga barat
na nagsirirong ta habo matipsikan nin dugo.
Garo mayo nangyari.
Siring sa pag-agi kan duros, dae nirurumdom.

Euphoria

And so the spark hit the cigarette.
This is my way to forget her.
All I wanted was to drive her memories
away from me. They haunt me.
Even so, her smiling face keeps coming back
and it never stopped from bullying me.
And oh, the nights! Yes! The dark nights
when I lay flat in bed, motionless.
I begin to weep all over,
turned sideways and expected her presence
beside me. Then, a flash of an empty scene
is what I get.

I wake up for my daily routines and
set off to delve myself into the world.
Little does the populace know that no matter
how okay I may seem to be,
my body starts to crumble down,
back to dust, from where I came from.
Painful as it seems, that these are days
that I tend to see her in a sea of faces,
only to realize that she was never there.
And all of these because she is Mary Jane.

-jan kevin de quiroz-

Quote

I did not love you like how the wave is obliged to hug the shore. It withdraws itself; uncertain. I loved you like how I wished that my stray message-in-a-bottle would reach you.

-dyan kay ben-

No matter how they try to stop me, I wont.

There are people who still conspire. I myself cannot call myself as brilliant but that's one thing I want to be. Look, to all my conspirators, I thank you. You challenge me. But that's one thing that won't stop me from what I want to be. I don't want to name names for there are too many. And naming them would be a waste of time. That would be stupid.

I won't waste my time listening to all your whining.

Fin.

10/30/08 - 03/28/09

Her eyes still haunt me
like a child's eye staring at me
as if to tell me that I should love its owner.
Her voice invades me
and seems to wake me up from slumber.
The giggles that I used to love hearing
now hurts my ears and my soul as if she mocks me.
I stumble but a force shields me.
An entity whose identity remains anonymous.
I may keep on saying that I'm okay,
but my heart is pensive;
uncertain if walking past the door
towards the light,
would do any good.
I hope it would bring peace to me.

-dyan kay ben-
06/04/09